The Real Deal
by bonniebonbon
Summary: Instead of cries of delight, there were blank faces and wielded wands.


**A/N: Beater One, Prompt: Princess and the Pea, (word) hate, (word) starstruck. WC: 1084 (ffn)**

As they walked through the dark tunnel, Neville rambled on about how everyone would be so glad to see the trio again. "Oh, wait until you see their faces!" he kept saying. Step by step, Harry grew more and more anxious to see his old friends.

But when Ron pushed open the door at the end of the tunnel, they had not received the reaction they had anticipated. Instead of cries of delight, there were blank faces and wielded wands.

"Neville, watch out!" Seamus warned, in his familiar Irish accent. Ron started to wave until Hermione elbowed him in the chest.

"Guys, what's wrong? It's Harry Potter! And Hermione and Ron!"

"How do you know that's the real him? It could be some Death Eater using Polyjuice!" said Dean.

Neville laughed uneasily. "Of course not! It's the real them."

"Yeah? Okay, then. Harry, what's my middle name?" asked Seamus.

Harry's eyes widened. He racked his brain for the answer, but he couldn't remember Seamus ever telling him. "I don't know," he replied, and Seamus took a step forward, looking more dangerous than Harry had ever seen him look before.

"Oh, come on, mate. It's him! I don't even know your bloody middle name!" Neville defended. Seamus shook his head in disbelief.

A girl with black hair made her way through the crowd of Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, and Harry soon realized that it was Cho. "Harry, is that you?"

He nodded, and she beamed.

"We're still not sure if it is him. It could easily be Snape, trying to find our location," said Dean.

"And the Carrows might be Hermione and Ron."

"He's a Potions Master, after all. I'm sure he has dozens of vials of Polyjuice Potion," added Terry Boot.

Cho pursed her lips. "Can't we do a test or something, to find out if they're the real deal?"

* * *

><p>"This is mad," muttered Ron.<p>

"Completely barbaric," added Hermione.

"Ridiculous," Harry agreed. He was not particularly fond of his situation.

In fact, he was beginning to hate it more and more as the minutes passed by.

The three of them were stripped of their wands and other possessions, each tied down to the wall until the DA members decided what to do with them.

"I know," Luna chirped, "let's bring Ginny! She's Ron's sister, after all."

"And Harry's lass," Seamus snickered. Dean nudged him and told him to shut up.

Before someone could be sent out to get her, Ginny had already heard the news and showed up. She froze when she caught Harry's eye.

"Six months she hasn't seen me and it's like I'm a frankie first-year. I'm her brother!" exclaimed Ron, but Ginny paid no notice.

Instead, she walked up to Harry and kissed him.

"That's bloody disgusting," said Seamus, starstruck. "That could be Snape for all we know!"

Pulling back, Ginny turned to face Neville. "It's him, I'm sure of it."

"What, are we basing this on the way he _kissed _her? That's insane!" Dean cried out.

"Yes," Ginny said defiantly. "I've kissed him countless times, I know how it's like."

"Gah, spare your older brother, will you! Such information is unneeded, thank you very much," Ron said, attempting to cover his ears but incapable of doing so due to the ropes around his body.

"Sorry, Gin, but I'm afraid we have to use a different method of proving it," Neville said apologetically.

"Fine," said Ginny, who was clearly _not_ fine with it.

* * *

><p>They took turns asking question after question to Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who struggled to answer them all. Most of them they got right; some were ridiculous and impossible to remember that they often just took a guess.<p>

"This is hopeless," said Padma Patil. "Snape's a skilled Occlumens, he could've easily found out all this information earlier." The others nodded in agreement.

"It has to be something that they specifically do. Something unnoticeable, something unspectacular, yet different."

"I know what we could do for Ron," chimed Colin Creevey.

* * *

><p>"On here are ten dishes filled with food, ranging from mashed potatoes to fresh bread to corn-on-the-cob," Colin explained, after house-elves delivered food to the table inside the Room of Requirement. Ron was freed from his binds but he still was not given back his wand.<p>

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

Ron raised his eyebrow inquisitively and sat still for a few seconds. Then, shrugging, he picked up a fork and began to eat.

The members of Dumbledore's Army watched silently as he munched on the food. "It's good," he said in between bites.

When Ron set down his fork and rubbed his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt, Ginny concluded. "Yep. That's my dear brother, alright."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Hermione was being tested by Luna, who asked her what she did that day. Taken aback, Hermione began to explain, and midway through the story Luna smiled real wide and hugged her. "It's really you!"<p>

* * *

><p>If Hermione and Ron were the real Hermione and Ron, surely Harry was the real deal, too?<p>

"Ha," said Ginny. "I told you it was him. Our kiss–"

"Yeah, yeah, we get it," Ron interrupted. "Now, hold on a sec. How'd you know it was me and Hermione when you tested us?"

"Well," Ginny began, "to be honest it wasn't the food you chose or anything like that, because quite frankly if given the capacity you would eat everything. It was the drink–anyone would change pomegranate juice to something more delicious, like pumpkin or orange. No one likes pomegranate, except for you, who kept it the exact same."

"But it's delicious!" Ron said indignantly.

"How about me, Luna?" Hermione asked. "How did you know I was me, in that short conversation we had?"

"Oh, the conversation was just because I was curious. I already knew from the very beginning. Who else would suggest a way to keep themselves captive?"

Hermione looked at the ground sheepishly. "Well, _Incarcerous_ makes sense, doesn't it?"

"So you guys are really back?"

Harry looked at his friends. "Yeah. We're really back."

**A/N: Written in a rush, very crappy. I apologize xx**


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